Going Cuckoo
by Artemis1000
Summary: Having your lover burst out laughing when you're trying to seduce him with roleplay is embarrassing enough, but even more so if your lover is Ludwig. Francis really shouldn't have mentioned the cuckoo clocks. France/Germany. Kink meme deanon.


Pairing: France/Germany  
>Era: Contemporary and post-WWI<br>Content Advice: Human names used  
>Notes: Kink meme de-anon for the prompt "two nations are role-playing (as other peoplenations/past selves/fictional characters), when one or both burst out laughing." 

**Going Cuckoo**

"You were such a cocky little brat and now look at you, Deutsches Reich. You've been brought so low…" Francis' lips curled into a cold smile. "Defeat suits you."

Ludwig gasped as the grip on his collar tightened sufficiently to become painful. Francis had him pinned against the wall, using his full body weight to keep him in place. "You're delusional," he ground out between clenched teeth.

Francis sized Ludwig up with disdain shining undisguised in his eyes. "I'm sorry," he sneered, "but I believe you were the delusional one, to think you could bring me down to my knees." He ran his free hand through Ludwig's hair in a mockery of a caress. "Poor deluded Germany, believing he could take on empires and come out on top…"

Ludwig inhaled as deeply as he could through his nose, nostrils flaring. "I…" He gulped. "I would appreciate it if you could take your hands off me, France." His voice quavered, his demand was half-hearted at best.

"Why?" Francis asked, all wide-eyed innocence. "Am I too close for comfort?"

He lowered his eyes even as his reddening cheeks betrayed him. "Be quiet."

"Ah. You seem to be under the impression that you can still give me orders," Francis murmured. His smirk widened. His hand trailed down from Ludwig's hair to his face, tracing the contours of his brows and his cheekbone, trailing down to his mouth. He rubbed his thumb over the lips, a narrow pale line that compressed further under his touch.

Ludwig turned his head to the side.

He nipped at the earlobe presented to him. Ludwig stiffened under his touch and he chuckled lowly. "You owe me," he whispered. "But I'm not unreasonable. I know you don't have the means to pay the reparations yet." His lips trailed over Ludwig's cheek to the corner of his mouth.

Ludwig swallowed hard.

"All I require is an act of good faith." He released Ludwig's collar, smoothed it with an inopportune gentleness and cupped his chin to tilt his face gently back towards him. Their mouths met.

Ludwig's lips became soft and pliable under Francis', but a small frown continued to crease his forehead. "This is hardly appropri…"

Francis silenced his protests with a kiss. "Don't be such a proud fool," he beckoned in a seductive whisper. "Would you truly rather _build cuckoo clocks_when I offer you untold pleasures?"

Ludwig made a strangled noise.

Francis frowned and pulled back to gaze critically at him.

"You mentioned the cuckoo clocks," Ludwig snorted.

Francis' eyebrow twitched in irritation. His entire body language shifted from one moment to the next, switching from a seducer's to one reminiscent of a wet cat. "It was a very serious matter, Ludwig!"

"Cuckoo clocks," Ludwig reiterated solemnly. His chest trembled with the force of his suppressed laughter.

"I was trying to prove a point!" Francis insisted indignantly, even as his lips twitched.

That did it. A chuckle escaped Ludwig despite his most valiant efforts to hold them in, then another one.

Francis buried his face against Ludwig's shoulder to stifle the sound of his own snickers.

Laughter bubbled up from Ludwig's chest, shaking his entire body and Francis, who was still leaning against him, along with it.

"You picked a lousy time to develop a sense of humor!" Francis snapped.

Ludwig nuzzled Francis' golden locks apologetically. "I'm sorry, Francis," he said, still chuckling, "but when you talked about the cuckoo clocks…"

Francis raised his face to shoot Ludwig a disgruntled look. "That was 90 years ago! Aren't you ever going to give it a rest?"

Ludwig's lips twitched. "Maybe I will, if you tell me what you did with all these cuckoo clocks. Prussia has a theory, but I find it rather disturbing."

"Do I even want to know…" Francis interrupted himself. "No, I'm certain I don't want to hear it." He huffed. "And there is nothing that funny about cuckoo clocks anyway!"

"There is, when you know that I used to imagine your face on them," Ludwig murmured. He blushed under Francis' incredulous gaze. "It was 90 years ago and I loathed you!"

Francis sniffed indignantly. "Thank you for reminding me! I don't rub it in your face all the time that I used to hate you, do I?"

"Actually…" Ludwig fell silent at Francis' wounded glare. He flushed again.

Francis heaved a melodramatic sigh. He wrapped his arms around Ludwig's neck and pulled him close for a passionate kiss. "Just promise me that you're never ever going to tell England what happened!"

"Why should I…?" Ludwig shook his head. "Let us continue where we left off," he suggested shyly.

"I like that idea," Francis purred. The predatory smirk reappeared on his lips. "I believe I was just about to ravish you…"

"Just don't mention the cuckoo…"

Francis cut him off with a kiss.

The end


End file.
